Erwin’s Blog

The List of Elephant Jokes

Q: How do you Catch a White Elephant?
A: Go to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant will be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like muffins (with raisins). Repeat this procedure for five days in a row. After the fifth day, the white elephant will be used to its daily muffin (with rasins). The sixth day you climb the tree, bring with you a muffin without rasins. Drop the muffin as usual. When the white elephant finds out that the muffin lacks rasins, it will darken in anger. And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary grey elephant.

Q: How many elephants does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two, but it has to be a pretty big light bulb!
A: Only one, but it has to stand on a trunk to do it.

Q: How do you Catch a Grey Elephant?
A: Go to an place where there are grey elephants. Look for a tree that you can climb. Bring with you a mouse. Climb the tree. When the grey elephant is close, drop the mouse in front of it. As all elephants are scared of mice, the grey elephant will be scared, and turn pale with fright. And then you catch it the same way as an ordinary white elephant.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?

Q: Why won’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools?
A: Because they might let down their trunks.

Lotsa credit goes to Matthew for sending me this link to a long list of funny jokes to fill my day with something. Especially loves the 3rd joke..(cos just done reading first 5).

The link is:

http://morethanfun.com/shafir/singjoke.htm

Joke 3:

Singlish version of Little Led Liding Hoot
==========================================       

Once upon a time hor, got one girl called Little Led Liding Hoot.
She want to go to Ah Mah’s house.

Morning she alleady go out one, she got take one basket to
put flower. She doh wan to walk long-long so go take shot cut. 

Wah!!! She dono got one animal follow her leh! She happy-happy
walk until she come to Ah Mah house.   
   
"Ah Mah! Ah Mah! I come, open the door lah!" she talk.       
Then Ah Mah also talk back, "Come in lah I never close one."

Little Led Liding Hoot open the house and go inside the door……

Oh, solly solly……open the door and go inside the house, she see
her Ah Mah on top of the bed.

She go ask Ah Mah. "Ah Mah, how come your eye so vely big one hah?"
"So I can see you maahhhhh!!!" Ah Mah say back. 
      
"Ah Mah, how come your year vely long one hah?"       
"So vely easy to hear you laah!!!!"       

"Ah Mah, how come……."       
"Aiyaa!!!! SO many question one ah you……never die before is it?"       
"Soly lah Ah Mah, I dono mah that’s why I ask".       
"What soly-soly! Now I want to eat you, I not Ah Mah, I animal one
you know……."      

Wah! Little Led Liding Hoot vely scared alleady, she scleam vely
loud but late alleady, the animal alleady eat her. She now inside
stomach alleady.

Suddenly got one people, cut wood one, go inside the
house. He want to save Little Led Liding Hoot, he go and cut the
animal stomach and take out everything, but he too late, Little Led
Liding Hoot become shit alleady……

The poem below is extracted from my testimonial for Andre; with slight modification (more like correction to my grammar). Since I have written it, might as well migrate it to my blog. ;P

Here it goes:

Another Tuesday went by
Time just seems to fly
With words I’ve said I’d never lie
Hoping to build a closer tie

A poem with "ow"

I am a person so shallow

Always feeling so mellow

I don’t know how to play cello

But when I meet my fellow

The least I say is a hello

A poem with "ew"

I wake up this morning to a Monday Blue

I headed straight into the loo

Remembering I have my IA report soon to due

That makes me feel even more "euy"

Then I cut myself a slice of honey dew

Wanting so much to share it with you

But what I have is just so few

So I just give you my view

Yet your face color turns into dark hue

May be tomorrow we can start anew

A Poem with "eak"

Writing my IA report I needed a break

This one I should take

So I went and sat by the lake

Sipping away my milk shake

A serendipity so fake

A poem with "ame"

I am so lame

Trying to act like a great dame

Keeping my heart aflame

Never yearning to have it tamed

Nor wanting to get any blame

Go on and tell me "What a SHAME"

A poem with "est"

Tomorrow I will be having a test

All i need now is a just rest

So I go to a fest

Trying to be a normal lass

A poem with "ask"

This is such a hard task

Our relationship is like a mask

I want to discuss about us

But you make such a big fuss

All I want is for this argument to last

A poem with "eon"

I tried act like Leon

or is it Delon

Trying to look like a felon

To others, I look like a melon

A poem with "oww"

After reading these, some people may feel wowed

While others may feel awed

Some may even take a bow

But this is all for now

Disclaimer: These poems are written originally by me. If there is any disheartening issue in the content, please voice them out. If you wanna take any poem, feel free to do so.

cheers,

Erwin Liong

Hey yo,

Welcome to my weblog yoz. I shall keep it short, casual yet a fun place to take your break.

Do join me and keep posting comments on how I should improve my weblog. Thank you.

cheers,

Erwin Liong